I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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