you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
