No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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