Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
