there's paper in my vomit.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
