I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's blow job season.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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