i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
