girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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