Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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