so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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