I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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