I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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