I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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