Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
