What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm always down for nudity.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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