More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
