I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize