i was born a porn star she said
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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