32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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