quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize