No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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