Pappa wants mamma naked
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
do herpes really smell.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Randomize
