Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
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81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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