I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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