It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.