watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
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I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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