Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
It was a blind-side dick pic.