is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.