So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.