I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
