I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
