i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
