I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize