This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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