I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize