is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
