I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
