if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
