how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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