Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
