Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
