i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
