I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
is it fun? or sober?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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