I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
