I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
