i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
wow bdsm is so cute
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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