they need to just BURY HIM!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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