He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
