great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
