The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
