Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
