Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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