Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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