i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
