Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize