Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
