I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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