So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
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