i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
