drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
