Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize