u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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