NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
so much tequila, so little girl.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize