Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
