Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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