You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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