fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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