I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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