I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
